Its her again! The Woman Who Fears the Lord...

I have neglected this blog so much and as much as I want time to slow down it won't. This will be a little long. My monkeys are now 6 1/2, 4 1/2, and about to turn 3! I cannot believe I don't carry cups or diapers around when we go anywhere now and its so bitter-sweet.
Last August we celebrated 9 years of marriage and are so excited this year to celebrate a decade!
My youngest sister lives with us now too, she is 17 and such a gift to us. We love her and I see her just like I see our kiddos, as if she were always meant to be here with us and I wonder how we lived so long without her. She is in love with God and seeing her develop into who He has purposed her to be and seeing her freed from all that held her back before is such a blessing.

There is something God is dealing with me greatly in and to my shame its been something He has been trying to change in me from the beginning of our marriage. I pray that I will be wise in learning and walking through this with Him in the hope of becoming a better wife, mother, and keeper of my home and that it may serve to encourage anyone that is where I have been.

I'm a creative person and gifted in many things, I don't say this in pride at all, its something God has placed in me and I want to glorify Him with it but I am also very inconsistent and undisciplined, I get distracted. While I have heard often that these are traits of a creative mind, they are traits that don't glorify God and they irritate me and really they irritate my poor husband and makes for a home that isn't harmonizing with the order that God operates in. You see, it makes for a very poor housewife. Now that my kids are older and homeschool requires so much more scheduling I have struggled even more with this fight with my flesh.

The Lord has continuously brought to mind the Virtuous woman of Proverbs 31. Lol, once when we were talking about a verse about this woman my friend said, "Oh no, not her again..." it was said in total jest but I will say that this is a woman who always put me to shame. As I have sought the Lord in this He has shown me that I need to study her and love her as an example. I used to be ashamed because she is simply someone I am not, I'm not organized, I can be so imprudent and unwise, I'm lazy and I let my flesh dictate so much of what I actually accomplish in the day. Now, because of God and my husbands love and patience and confrontation at times, I walk in hope that the Lord who began the good work in me can stretch and grow me into The Woman Who Fears the Lord.

The first 3 verses describe her marriage, today I studied verse 10. Now I am no scholar but God is giving me a hunger to seek Him and his will for me in every area and where else is the proper way to start but His word?

Proverbs 31:10
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

There are excellent wives out there but this scripture says that they are hard to find. It doesn't say its impossible. I want to be worth much more than precious jewels. Ruth was a very good personification of this woman, Ruth 3:11.
Proverbs 18:22-He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favor with the Lord.
Proverbs 12:4 - An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.
In Boaz says to Ruth (Ruth 3:11) "...for all my fellow townsmen know that you are a worthy woman." A woman like this is a crown on her husband's head and is known in the eyes of others as a worthy woman not because she tells anyone she is but because she is known by her fruit.
The second part of Proverbs 12:4 tells us there is a different kind of wife, the one who shames her husband and I admit that I have been this woman more times than I want to recall. She is like a rottenness in his bones, a painful and incurable disease. There are other scriptures that say its better to live on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wife and that compare her to the constant drip of rain, wearing and tiring to listen to and be around (Proverbs 19:13, 21:9, 25:24, 27:15). Ugh, I do not want to be that type of wife to my husband.

In my walk through this scripture I want to embrace this woman and not fear her, I want to embrace who God has called me to be and know that He will equip me regardless of how much of my flesh I have to put aside. I want to learn to joyfully submit to my husband simply because God says so and because my husband truly wants God's best for me. I want for my girls and son to have a legacy of a mother that loves them so much she wants to walk in joy with the Father and love them and their father well. Help me Lord to truly be changed by your word that is alive and real.