After 3 kids there have been many interrupted nights but the sleepless ultimately make-me-feel-I'm-going-to-lose-my-sanity times with my babies are almost gone. The kids randomly come in at nights but not regularly and we are past night time feedings. Its not unusual to be woken once in the night but its getting more normal not to.
As hard as being awake for days straight was at times I cherish the memories and I thank God for dear mother-friends that recommended I embrace those times of my baby needing me. I will never regret not sleeping for the sake of my kids wanting me and there is no party or more awesome person I would rather have been with.
I was their complete comfort in those days and now as I look forward and see how they are more and more independent from me I thank God for the sweet expressions and cuddles. For the moments that mommy was the comfort they sought and longed for, when their smiles and desire was all for me. I could take care of every need they had, feed, change diaper, snuggle, kiss anything. Were they easy days? Not at all, they were hard, they were painful and exhausting, and sometimes by the 4th time they were up in the same hour for the 17th night in a row I wondered if I would ever sleep again.
Being a mama has taken everything I could give and so much that only the Lord could do and provide my body the strength to for but there is no other profession that could fulfill and challenge me the way this does.
To raise these babies along with a man who loves us so much he will work and sacrifice so that I can be home, to teach them to love God and bear the fruit of that love in the interactions they have with each other daily that will cause you to plead to the Lord for the wisdom to do so.
It has taught me that as I have to pour out grace to my little ones because they are little but mostly because undeserved grace has been poured out on my sinful self. It has taught me to strive to not discipline in anger or frustration but to do it because every selfish and sinful thing that comes up with our children is an opportunity to teach them their absolute need for God and His holy standard. The Lord has been so good to teach me about the unconditional love and forgiveness and enjoying little moments through my husband and children. Thank you for the cross and every lesson that humbles in the day.
I pray you help me see everything with a heart that longs to glorify Your name and stand in awe of the cross and everything we have because of it. I love You my Savior and Lord!